Happily ever after

Last month a guy found me.
We are now together.
Fuck everyone whoever hurt me, fuck everyone who used excuses, fuck everyone who used me, fuck everyone who lied to me.

Life as we know it

So i’ve been thinking alot lately.

I’ve come to a theory that right now, for now, i’m meant to be alone.

That i’m better off alone.

Friends you thought were friends have turned into these zombies of bluntness and are completely selfish.

Theres only so many times i can try with people before i have to walk away or else i will knock them out cold.

That i need to worry about myself more and about others alot less.

Im a drug not the cure.

By 11am i can multi- task the unthinkable.
I can ruin my makeup
Cry uncontrolably
Argue and fight
I can get papercuts and bleed

Can anyone give me a fucking break and let me breathe a second here.

Im going to crumble and fall until i cant do it anymore.

If this is a test then congradulations its working a treat.

I’m like a drug, they get their hit but im not good enough to be their addiction.
Im not a cure.

I said i hope you’re okay and had to walk away.

Set fire to the third bar

Im getting older, i look back on my life a year ago and i
was in the same spot i am now, same mistakes. I used to say once
you walk out of my life you can stay there, until i realized how
hard it is to walk away from the ones that once walked away from
me. They always come back but i dont understand why. Was the first
time they hurt me and walked off not satisfying enough? Was the
disrespect not disrespectful enough Was the lies not spun any
further than they could of possibley been spun Guys and me just
cant seem to be just friends.

Never ever

I started new 10 times over I cant keep starting new
everytime im used by you

This is how it works

This is how it works
You’re young until you’re not
You love until you don’t
You try until you can’t

You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took

And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else’s heart
Pumping someone else’s blood

And walking arm in arm
You hope it don’t get harmed
And even if it does
You’ll just so it all again

stop

You know with each day that passes by, I pray to god I’ll never forget who you are.
You mean everything to me.
You were in my dream
Before I even knew that there was a you and me,
Now I can’t wait to see your smile,
When I wake up each day,
It makes it worth while
With the kinda love you plant inside,
Specially with a heart so empty as mine.
All your soft tenderness is the one thing that I don’t wanna miss.
Everything that you give to me,
Only comes in a fantasy,
It seems like life goes by so fast,
But in this time I wanna make it last.
I hate that we live to die,
But only God knows why
We all have a purpose,
And to see you again it’ll be worth it.
I wish that I could stop time,
I wish that I could rewind,
To the very beginning of every second of my life.
To ask God on my hands and knees,
To never let me forget all my special memories.
See I’m only promised today,
And if it’s my time to go,
I don’t want the love of my life to ever fade away,
So one last time
Let me open my eyes.
To see what my life used to be like.
Oh God.

2011

2010.
took me all year to realize. in 10seconds i thought about it and
then i understood. I had a plan, since i was little i worked on
this plan, it was all i ever thought about, dreamt about, wrote
about. I would find a boy, i would fall in love, i would loose him,
he would come back, i’d open up a shop, he would propose to me the
day i opened that shop, we would get married, have 2 kids named
suvannah and noah, we would grow old and never love another. you
see with plans, they never work out… i know. with goals, they
seem forever to reach. we werent meant to have a plan, i wasnt
meant to have a plan. with no goals you cant be disappointed, you
can only be suprised in how well you’ve done, and how far you’ve
come. i was the only one with these plans,and rules and goals that
i got so caught up in i forgot about everything that mattered to
me, being happy. I let myself be disrespected, walked over, treated
like shit. in two days its 2011 and im not going to wait until then
to change what ive been wanting to change. to stop chasing to not
over think every little thing to stop giving arseholes chances to
take risks to be happy to take every day as it comes and to let
go.

In my head

I fall quickly, i get burnt fast, i pick myself up i stumble a little but i pull through

Im shy unless im comfortable, im comfortable if i like you

I like you, you run, i chase for a little but i cant keep up with your ever changing mind

I give chances and i say i will only give 3, i get sucked in so ill give you more, ill soon regret that decision and the descision of being with you too

I’ll go bitter and put my walls back up, then ill do it all over again

A year from now

Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step that you took was the worst.
Since then you’ve walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,
And I still have these memories,
But will never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we’d be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you’d never let it go?
Remember, Cause that’s all you can do.
We’ll never make another memory,
We’ll never make another memory.
I wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn’t have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don’t share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I’m just sorry that it wasn’t enough.
So, we’ll go our own ways,
And hopefully you’ll remember these things i’ve told you,
Hopefully you’ll understand that everything I said is in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess i’ve learned from it.
But aren’t you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don’t consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn’t end this way,
Cause i’m still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when we talked about where we’d be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you’d never let it go?