Mess on the floor

I haven’t written anyblogs for a while so this is a update of what’s been going on.
So things come to an end for something.
And new doors open for others.
We found comfort in each other for what the past had done.
We can see a new life a new change ahead and it feels good.

I’ve found an amazing friend that I never gave the chance to have.

I feel that life is changing and itscoming along fast.
Days are flying by.
This is a jumbled blog but these are my thoughts.

Peak hour

It’s when the world moves faster.
The Sunday stroll turns into a run.
The Sunday drive turns into speeding cars.
The flowly traffic is now a traffic jam.
Once quiet trains are jam packed.
The sun goes down and the stars start to show.
And here I sit watching it all in silence.
Wondering mind and settled thoughts.
This is when I get to think.
My time.

letting go

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they’re haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die…

I didn’t want us to burn out
I didn’t come here to hurt you now I can’t stop…

I want you to know
It doesn’t matter where we take this road
Someone’s gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn’t have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I’m already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you’ll find another
That doesn’t always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
“Perfect” couldn’t keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

We are the cursed ones

The unloved.
The ones that love, but aren’t loved.
Where I stand I could see, the heads in the crowd moved and of course there he was. Smiling. Singing. Screaming. He was happy. Not a fake smile. Not a fake laugh. He was happy.
Being in the same place kills me, it shreads up my heart and hurts my head.
As handsome as ever the one person in the room I couldn’t have. Ever again.
I can’t answer any of the questions that float around at night.
I can’t explain any of the things that are said to me.
There’s just one thing I know and that’s we were never meant to let go.
So we can go both our own ways and pretend they’ll never cross.

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares, I said nothing compares to you.
I was cursed and nothing helps.
No one stays and everyone goes.
That’s all.
I’m alone in this world.

Here we go again

Give another chance again.
Get fucked over and stumble again.
Tell me it will be different now.
Chests are clear, we sit and hear.
Tell me you’ll stay and leave the next day.
Tell me how much you need me, and how you’ll never leave me.
Tell me I’m beautiful, so I can listen to your charm.
Yeh here we go again.

Its what you do not what you say.

Tonight I went out to a place I hadn’t been in a while.
To start the story it’s about someone I met months and months ago, although what I saw in this person was their charm, they are now no where near that charming fella that approached me.
I was out with some girls one night and I was dancing away and I felt like shit there were so many beautiful girls at this place but mixed In, there i was. Nothing.
A guy came up to me “I’ve been watching you dance your so cute and pretty” I was shocked of course, first time I danced with a complete stranger and the last time.
He was very cute and charming I guess I saw something about him that seemed so familar and comfortable.
We exchanged numbers but I wasn’t expecting anything from it.
As soon as I left I got a Message, as the messages came and days past into weeks with everyday a conversation of 100 messages. We started to hang out and I guess I felt maybe I could be strong again but it was so soon.
He told me he really liked me as we were snuggled in bed.
I kept my high morals with only snuggles and butterfly kisses.
He spoke those words that all guys seem to speak but he seemed different he seemed genuine ” I’m not like those guys that have fucked you over, I see us going somewhere great, your beautiful and cute”
Of course I fell for these sweet words and was positive that I deserved something good like this.
Where I was told I was all these special things that someone made me beleive I wasn’t.
Then of course like the rest he disappeared.

Days turn into weeks and weeks turned into months.

So here we are months later after running back to the past and going forward and running back again.
Went out tonight, and who do I see.
He sees me and I see him.
I see the face that seemed so familar, so close and the smile that caught me.
Grabs a girl makes out with her infront of me…

Got to love the feeling I know oh to well…..
I was disgusted and felt sick to my stomach.
He was worse ….

empty heart

loved a lier,
loved a cheater,
loved a bullshitter,
loved a theif,
loved a user,
loved abuser.

sometimes we look at where we are and see within ourselfs we are just wasting away on something thats worth nothing.
and there i am i stand alone, i stood alone.
with a dream, and a dreamer.

Boy oh boy

Boys and there hormones.
Ohh this ones a classic of mine
*phone rings* well of course if it isn’t a boy in the late hours of the night calling cause they are Horney and want to “chat” hahaha.
Another classic when a guy u haven’t spoken to in a while texts you wanted to hang … Yep fuck off.

Or the it’s 11.30 and guys start talking on msn for a good old “chat” haha.

Boys grow up and take your head out your arse and your hand off your dick.
Cheap shots and small thrills

Dear him

He’llnever see this and he’ll never understand.
He’ll never feel what I felt and he’ll never to hold this heavy heart but after hating him because I loved him I want him to know that simply because of his presence I had the best time of my life with him.
To hold on for this long and broken me down and to try and let go is what I’ve been doing now is the hardest thing I will ever do.
I love him and always will.